She swore an oath to support and defend against all enemies, foreign and domestic. To protect a constitution young boys died giving her, to give her daughter. Nobody mentioned the enemies in tailored suits, smiling under soft box lighting, shaking hands for cameras while their names sit blacked out on flight logs and victim files. She raised her right hand, so many damn times, while theirs were busy accepting bribes, redacting paragraphs, And perfecting the angle of denial. T

I think when God pushed the software update through, he must’ve forgotten a bug in my code; the part for impulsivity, Self-control, Self-soothing. Self worth. Or maybe he just wanted entertainment, a rare commodity in a neurotypical world; like watching a broken toy flailing, crashing, burning, dying. God doesn’t want me; neither does he. Neither do they. Neither do I. Cancer. Virus. Plague. Burden. God either makes mistakes,                   Or he broke me for a laugh.

V1) I’m just a sinking ship And everybody already knows it Grasping and gasping for air Something to hold onto V2) I’m just here fading fast While everybody whizzes by Looking for their next big win Hopefully without me B) Nobody believes you when you say you’re not okay And everybody acts so shocked when you try to run away Honey, it’s just a permanent vacation One I’ve stolen, begged, and borrowed Time to pay the interest fees Cause the loan shark is a devil Disguising six

If you speak your mind, you’re a burden But no one ever cares when you’re hurting If my lips stay closed, I’m suffering But you don’t hear me when I say you’re killing me. Bridge: Your hands are wrapped around my neck You withhold but demand you get respect… I feel like a ghost Standing right there by you screaming In your face In your brain I feel like I’ve gone insane Chorus: It’s a nightmare Wanna run away Take my hand Take a stand I’m right here You’re not there Be aware

Verse: All the things you said are lovely Are what you use against me All the strengths inside my soul Are what you’re slowly breaking Bridge: Draining, it’s raining, I’m feigning I’m okay. Straining, frustrating, you’re staying Just to stay. Chorus: I just wanna be someone who Gets to be someone loved by you Without all the conditions Needless of reminiscence I just wanna be someone who Isn’t at fault for breathing Gets to be wild and freeing Without the fear of you leaving

In a lineup of all your favorite players I’d be the last face you’d choose. No one picks the water boy to play, knowing that they’ll lose. Down your favorite candy aisle I’m not the chocolate, gummies or caramels; I’m that sugar-free glob your grandma packs in her bottom purse, dusted in sunflower shells. On Christmas Eve, I’m not the hottest toy, or newest game to play. I’m the socks, the ugly sweater, or your old aunt’s weird crochet. I’m not the girl you want to sit with.

Running into faith, searching for renewal. Coagulated in copper, a melody of fools. This precipitation’s heavy, a canopy surrounds me....

You can have the sweet sugar, and the reassuring buzz. You get to feel the bliss, the time-shifting effervescent buzz. You can grasp the...

Lock it up, tie them down; those feelings bubbling to the brim, at the surface of your mangled being. Pull them in, push them...

Dissociative distance with a hint of damaged parts. You couldn’t dissolve my strength so, you chose to break my heart. Malicious kindness...

Desire like the rain in a drought until you found your favorite lake (It wasn’t me). Your parched lips in summer heat, crisp and...

Sad eyes, big lies, Bad guy. Fake love, plaster smile, deep sigh. Broken heart, broke mind, I tried. Twist of fate, spiraled hate, don’t...

He loves me, except. Except when I speak up, or speak out, or I stay silent and introspective. I offer guidance he didn’t ask for, or sit...

Sulking and skulking in your skull-fuckingly paralyzed state of being. Existing in a constant state of excuses for never taking...

Buried deeply underneath a socially acceptable smile (with his and hers therapists) are shattered bones traversing miles. Reckless nights...

Last night I got to witness the miracle of birth, followed immediately after with the shattering pain of death. A woman reached out to me...

I read her that book. You know, the one we had made for her? That book filled with your names, that promises her you'll never leave her...

Marry go ‘round and ‘round -‘til the bottom rusts out and we hit the ground running-from past or present? Your presence surrounding with...

At three years old, she emerged from that metal murder-attempt broken, bloody and bruised; a shell of the dreamcatcher she was born to...

Stuck on your swing wildly swaying through emotions without control; without power. I’m always the menace in your story- the girl who’s...