ABC

Any time I open my laptop, I expect to write,

But my mind is jumbled and broken;

Chaotic and twisted in a mountain of sadness.

Drowning in my own self-destruction, that

Echoes in the back of my brain.

Forgetting who I really am, but

Going and going and going still.

How do I unhinge these chains,

If I’m the one that chained me?

Jesus, fuck. He broke me, but

Kindness was never his strong suit anyway.

Love was all I ever wanted from him, but

Maybe I didn’t even deserve it.

No one marries to be left sad and alone,

Only girls like me.

Personally, I tried to change him,

Quickly I learned he didn’t want to be changed, and

Remembering a few good days in a sea of bad,

Strength was never my strong suit anyway.

Tomorrow, the words will stop,

Unless he buys me flowers, or

Very politely washes the dishes, or

Whisks me away for a night out.

Xerox has nothing on the copies I’ve made of this divorce.

Yearning for freedom from this volatile home;

Zealous enough, but I won’t file them.

#mb